looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
