its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
