can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
