champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
