We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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