I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you traded sex for a burrito?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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