But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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