is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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