i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
