marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
People in love make me want to vomit
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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