The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize