well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize