his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
