yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
