Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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