We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
