What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
