my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How naked do you want me to be?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
