is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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