Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
