Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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