I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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