so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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