All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
