For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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