How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
