lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
