I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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