nut hugger
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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