I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
