Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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