This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
