I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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