nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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