you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
