cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think brook has ever known best
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
