I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
