i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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