he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
