Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
