He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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