her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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