some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want nice things and good sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
