You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize