My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Cover your peen. We're going out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
