found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
