that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
