I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
