i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
