Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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