who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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