I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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