Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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