I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
