shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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