It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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