Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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