I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
