This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize