I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize