just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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