Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize