walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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