I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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