For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think your dad took our porno
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
