And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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