I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is Oprah even human
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
