If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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