this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
